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My husband’s best friend said, after we had our first baby, “Just write off the first 90 days of your children’s lives.” This sage advice came during a call in which Liam (my husband) was having various realizations in regards to the huge change that is parenthood. His friend told him not to take any of his rollercoaster-emotions too seriously and assured him he would grow to love his newborn very much. My husband seemed calmed by his words and often repeated them in the first 3 months of our daughter’s life.
I, on the other hand, was a little offended. What does he mean write off the first 90 days? This is the most awesomest thing ever! Also, I had spent the previous 9 months reading ALL the parenting books and I was in the midst of following ALL the rules to teach the baby ALL the things that had to be established in the first 90 days. We have to AT LEAST establish a bedtime. I mean seriously, I had conceded to a bit more flexible “baby schedule” after our natural childbirth class, BUT THERE MUST AT LEAST BE A BEDTIME (and it must be established in the first 90 days.)
So, now we are coming out of the first 90 days of our second child and I thought I might do a little picture essay on having two. Oh and by the way, I know we are coming out of the first 90 days because somewhere during the third week of being home with two I had my husband mark off the first 90 days on the calendar in our kitchen. 😉 Our sweet second was born on May 20th and here is our countdown to sanity. 🙂
This is the kind of picture you take of your firstborn napping. She is sweetly swaddled and surrounded by all of her lovely stuffed animals from family and friends. This placid scene takes place in her new crib that is perfectly arranged in her new nursery. You send this perfect pic to your family and friends to show them: A) look I know how to do this cool random new parent skill that makes my baby look like a burrito B) I have my baby on a sleep schedule; I am on top of things over here and C) I am using your wonderful baby shower gifts.
This is the picture you take of your second baby napping. You post it in your Facebook mom’s group with the caption “OMG y’all, I left him alone for 5 seconds to get Raines a snack and he was asleep when I got back. I didn’t know they could fall asleep on their own.” (Note to the worriers out there, the extra bedding was removed shortly after the picture was taken).
This is the text you get from your husband after his first attempt to babywear your first born, with the question, “does this look right?” This picture elicits the following inner dialogue: “OMG no the baby must be kissable, airway exposed, OMG he’s going to kill the baby I must return home, OMG, calm down, he already secretly took all of your baby books out of the house and hid them in the trunk of his car, your craziness is banned.” (By the way, this is the correct grammar for inner dialogue ;-).
After the second baby, this is the text you get from your husband tandem wearing your babies at the farmers market, one on his back in a mei tai and one on his chest in a ring sling. Inner dialogue: “OMG THAT IS THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER!”
Here are typical babywearing pictures with your firstborn. These pics say “I love babywearing! It is so much fun and so helpful! Look, I can match my stylish ring slings to my dresses! Yay, I am stylish and on top of things!”
Here is a typical babywearing picture with number two. Including the following caption “Bouncing a colicky baby on the birth ball…powered by an almost empty box of dark chocolate sea salt almonds from Trader Joes.” Style and being ‘on top of things’ are out the window and chocolate has taken their place.
Remember that first pic of the swaddled baby in the crib with the stuffed animals?
With the second kid you lose the nursery and just attach a second crib to your bed for the “mega-bed” you know you’re going to need to get any sleep with two kiddos.
When you have one kid, you dress her in her cutest boutique dress for her first story time at the local bookstore.
With kid number two, you’re happy if everyone is alive by the end of the day…..
And this is the OMG-I’m-so-happy-we’re-all-alive-and-you’re-home-honey face you give your husband when he gets home from work.
Finally, here is the family portrait with child number one:
And with child number two ain’t nobody got time for family portraits….
Thanks to my ingenious husband for coming up with this portrait idea when I was feeling guilty that there wasn’t a picture of the four of us for my Facebook profile.
But really, life with kids is great, especially now that we are out of the first 90 days.